I think it’s safe to say I’m obsessed with myself. Like if something has nothing to do with me, I don’t care. Okay, I wouldn’t say I don’t care… there are plenty of things going on in my friends and family lives that I DO care about, but as far as gossip goes… I just don’t care. Like I’ll be walking in the mall with friends and they will all notice some time of wrong going on with someones outfit, or someones extra big ass, etc… and I won’t notice unless you point it out. Or it can be, like one of my friends’ told me, I’m just wreck-less and always so unaware of my surroundings. But generally speaking if something has NOTHING to do with me I just don’t care. In my head it’s always me, me, me!

But is that so wrong? I’ve been told that I’m selfish. But is that really so bad? As much as I am selfish I think I am very giving. What’s so wrong with putting myself first all the time? I feel like NO ONE else in this world can ever truly put you first other than yourself. If I don’t look out for me who will? If I don’t DEMAND superiority who will give it to me? People tell me all the time I’m a little brat. But it’s like with children, if you ALLOW them to be a brat, they will be.  If people always give me my way, do things to please me, etc… there’s no one to blame but themselves. I didn’t put a gun to your head. You ALLOWED me to be the brat you claim I am. I feel like you have to DEMAND how you want to be treated. I run around acting like I’m one of Nicki Minaj’s barbies – and people treat me like I am one! (I was only kidding about that, sorta… LOL)

So what is everyone’s feelings about being self obsessed/selfish? Do you think it’s always a bad thing? Is it so wrong to always want to put yourself first?

Soo yeah lately I’ve realized I get annoyed easily as fuck. Well, I can’t pretend like this is new to me, I’ve always been this way… I use to just be better at holding shit in. I just DON’T have patience. I really hate when people talk about shit repetitively. And the two people I talk to the most are good at that! Adrian will bring up something – an idea, question, thought, etc – and I’ll ANSWER HIS ASS!!!! and he will continue to bring up that idea, question, thought, etc. I get SO annoyed. I’m like, “I ALREADY ANSWERED YOUR FUCK ASS SHIT!!!!” And then my roommate Stephanie is good at bringing up shit that’s done and over with, or shit we done argued over, or just random shit from the past, and I get annoyed. Like shit leave me be.

Let’s see -  I’ve picked up a semi-drinking habit. The first time I got drunk EVER was in Febraury and since then I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been drunk. After the last time I don’t think I will be drinking for a while though. It was just a mess. I don’t remember half of it. I just know I said and did a lot of embarassing and/or mean shit. And there’s more to it but I won’ t expand because really I’m just tired of hearing about it.

But despite me being annoyed all the time I’m actually in a really happy place right now. I get annoyed with people here and there but I’m good.

Yesterday I don’t remember doing shit but eating. Me and Stephanie went to McDonalds and bought a shit load of food we didn’t eat. Then later on we went riding around wasting gas like we do damn near everyday (and then wonder why we always at the gas station). We did that for an hour, picked her friend Rock up, proceeded to do the same thing, ended up at Miami Subs, then went home. So yeah – basically I just ate and rode around the whole damn day. Sad.

Anyways, this was my first real post and it’s already a book length. I’m going to sleep!  Happy Independence Day! I work later today so I probably won’t do shit. I’m not a fan of watching fireworks though. I just like setting that shit on fire.